Bad things....good people and vice versa

A good friend of mine and I have had an ongoing conversation about how bad things always tend to pile up on good people. You think you are living your life in a good way. You are being good to others, taking the high road even when you are hurt, trying your best to be honest, decent and loyal. Working and taking care of your family, cruising along keeping to yourself and then bam! A giant speed bump in the form of some disaster or another. Disasters come in all shapes and sizes. To some it can be a refrigerator going out, a car battery dying or someone in the family getting sick. But the smallest issue can become so enourmous to us when piled on top of so many other things that life throws at us. We sit and we look around at people that we know are not living a good life, who are hurting others and living with no care and consideration to anyone else and we have to wonder how they can possibly be doing so well. My friend has the theory that bad people don't suffer because they are already living a bad life, why do they need to be swayed over and pushed to the brink? They are already there. But despite the fact that things always seem to work out for them, in the end they to will reap what they sow. We see them in a light of getting away with everything and they put on this big front that they are so happy in life and do not care what anyone else thinks. But I think the reality of it is they are more miserable than any of us. But instead of being depressed or seeming like a "Debbie Downer" to the world they instead strive to make everyone around them just as hurt and sad as they are. The fact of life is none of us live in a perfect world. We all have bills and hurts and worries and disappointments. It is just a matter of who is honest about them and who pretends they don't exist. But pretending does not make them go away. I wish that we would all realize that by being honest with one another we could help each other a great deal. I know in the times that things have been the hardest I have felt so alone. Like I was the only one in my world that was having to deal with so much being put on them. But in sitting and talking to my good friend I realized that it was not just me. That I was not alone. It was not like having someone wallowing in it with you but instead like having someone to lean on as you trudged through the muck. Lately, it seems as though I have been doing a lot of...well I guess we will call it housekeeping, in the friend department. I prayed for clarity and I think I got it. In the past month, I have really begun to see some people in a new light. Friends that I thought were trustworthy, honest and almost like family to me are suddenly proving themselves otherwise. It is disappointing, hurtful and infuriating but it is also the eye opener that I think I needed. I can not move on with my new life in the direction that I need to go while still carrying the old baggage. I have done a lot of changing and a lot of growing up in this new chapter of my life. By no means was it a straight and easy road. I made a lot of bad choices along the way. But I am finally getting my priorities straight. I have discovered that by living my life in the open I have less worries of being a part of the rumor mill. Sure gossip will always be around. But if you don't put yourself in that position there is only so much that can be said. I have discovered the fragililty of a good reputation. The value of a good honest friend and the pricelessness of family. I have discovered that running is not always the answer and that it's ok to keep up some walls to protect yourself as long as you occasionally put in a few gates to give people a chance. I have found out that sometimes it is ok to sit and have a good cry and that having a friend to hold you while you do is not embarassing but soothing. And I have finally realized that sometimes guarding what you say and not being completely honest out of fear of hurting them can do more damage than chancing their temporarily hurt feelings. I am still not quite where I need to be. I have some work left to do but I finally see a light at the end of the tunnel. I say all this because I want to point out to everyone that life is not perfect, not for anyone. You have setbacks, heart aches, you lose people but you gain new ones along the way. I have always believed that things will align as they should if you do what is right along the way. Think back right now and you can probably come up with ten or fifteen things that have happened just this year that were "disasters". I know I can. But I made it through them. How much easier would it be to make it through if you had known someone else was beside you? How hard is it to sit and be honest and say, "You know what I am hurting too." Instead of pretending that you have no clue what they are going through and in essence kicking them while they are down? How hard is it to occassionally pick up a phone, send a text, comment, message or even a card and say you know what I sure love having you as a friend. How many times during those rough spots would it really have helped you to have had someone call and say "I just wanted to say I am glad to have you around" or sent you a comment and said "Let's grab dinner and gripe a while". Sometimes I think that we believe they will think that we are being corny or stupid but what would it hurt. What does it hurt to open up and be honest about your setbacks, hurts or fears. We celebrate the good stuff together why can't we huddle together during the storms? The fact is we never know when the little stuff is going to become to much for someone to bear. How many times have you stopped and thought about sending something or saying something or just doing something nice for someone but just didn't get it done. Then later found out that they could have really used it. Or God forbid discovered that it is to late to let them know. If you have something on your mind spill it today. Trust me, you will feel better...